I have always felt that it is lot easier to appreciate someone at work. But when it comes to throwing a brickbat, it’s a different ball game altogether.
I should not be hurting the other guy’s feelings. I should put it in such a way that it would make him realize his shortcomings. I have to enthuse him to get going and work towards improvisation. I should not be pointing fingers or blaming him. I should make it look more like a pep talk than a complaining session. And I should lend a helping hand.
Every time I take someone into the conference room for a little chat, I have to keep all the above in mind. Since I cannot predict his reaction, I can never be prepared for such sessions too. Today was yet another day when I had to enlighten a colleague of mine on where he is falling short and why he should start putting in more effort.
Another day! Another colleague! Another session! And I only hope I don’t say things that end up making them feel sore.
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that's tough job.. to advise & straighten someone... I agree Somu.
ReplyDeleteIts a damn tough job.I agree coz U mus'nt hurt anyone in the bargain."Help ever hurt never"
ReplyDeleteWell actually its more a responsibility of the other guy to take up the good advice that u are giving him.
ReplyDeleteIf he can take it, well & good...otherwise...well..u know wat!
Tough job..
Totally agree with u... I too faced this situation a few months back... Infact when i was a bit rude i used to feel bad... But then that was the first time... Now i somehow learnt to handle such situations... but still when we actually have to do it... Its difficult... Even though u r at the giving end.... U need to tell it positively... It makes a better impact...
ReplyDeletePositivity really helps... Tried and tested ;)
True.. I wish my boss learns that part of it soon..
ReplyDeleteThou she is really nice.. I always feel she goes overboard at things that deserve that
Ohh that sounds like a real tactful job. How did YOU learn all that? From ur boss? And u sound like even if u are used to doing it, it's a new situation each time? My imagination says, how those guys might be cursing you while going out and some might be just so pissed off. Poor Somu. But thats only my wild imagination :-D I know they'd rather be thanking you at the end of the session. Dont worry ur sweet little head with all that.
ReplyDeletePS: Wow ur so sensitive, I'm ready to swoon for you LOL!! Kidding!
The only times I have been in a conferene room with seniors was when I was giving feedback about them or when i was announcing my decision to quit ;)
ReplyDeletevery true....constructive criticism should not be viewed as a personal attack. Putting things across is an art by itself.
ReplyDelete@Ram,
ReplyDeleteTrue it is. And am glad you acknowledge that.
@Arch,
Counselling is part of every team leader's / manager's work... Not in anyway associated with just HR. I am a Customer Support guy :o)
@Anjali,
That's the key... "Not hurt anyone" and yet put the message across. Welcome to my blog :o)
@Ashish,
ReplyDeleteRightfully said, but we just cannot assume he would take that as a good advice. So it involves lota sugar coated words.
@Art,
My first few experiences were equally bad. But then I have learnt it over the last couple of years, though I would not say I have mastered it. Every session is a new learning experience. That's when I learn what I should have not said and what I could have possibly said.
@Smyta,
Reminds me of how my mom used to give me pills. She would hide it inside a banana and ask me to swallow it... That's my idea of sweetened pill :o) Taking him for a coffee at the cafeteria is a good idea too. A casual atmosphere helps the other person to open up too and eases things a bit for me.
@Ioiio,
ReplyDeleteFirst things first. Thanks for dropping by. Well people do not learn unless we point things out to them. That's why I take my boss most time with me for such sessions. He would be just a mute spectator and let me know his feedback of how I handled it later.
@Sonal,
Am still learning. And believe me there would be lot of curses. Since I have a good rapport with my team, I sometimes get inside information. Sometimes, I know even a month before somebody is gonna quit. But then, that's not the case always.
Me ? Sensitive ? And how do u say that ? :o)
@Tipsy
Lol ! So, 360 deg feedback system exists wherever you work ? And as for quitting, I have never done that before in life. Maybe would try it out sometime. What say ? Any openings at your place ?
@Ganga,
ReplyDelete:o) Infact, I felt so strong about it that I thought I should make a post.
@Kaps,
Right. It's like what men to when they have a shave everyday. First apply the gel. And then apply the razor. What say ? First bring out the positives and then point out. That way they would understand and not feel offended.
hmm thats really nice... but sometimes even though u r trying to help a person out u get outrageous reply...
ReplyDeleteLike once in such a conversation with one of my collegues[his carelessness was causing a lot of trouble in my deadlines]...
I just asked in a very very casual way... if he had any problems at work where he might need my help... and the reply i got was -- "what difference does it make to u...Are u gonna help me out" and in a very rude way... I was dumbstruck ... words dint come out...so i told him... Anyway finally continued the conversation without anymore conflict and not expressing my anger...
But then was more careful from the next time to keep my cool at such responses :)
i received the ambi...its quite good. Thanx!!!
ReplyDelete@Aarthy,
ReplyDeleteYeah. Weird and rude response are something that i have not learnt to handle yet. I just lose my cool and start speaking in the same lines.
Maintaining my composure is what I need to conciously work on :o)
Looks like you are an expert at it now :o)
@Ashish,
Thanks and you are most welcome dude :o)
nice to be sensitive towards others feelings..u need lotsa patience too.. :)
ReplyDeletewell not an expert... but now i know i can atleast control my temper on such things.... best thing to do at such times would be just keep calm for a min... give a smile to urself and carry on......
ReplyDeleteAnd now fun part... u've been tagged :) check out my blog :)
@Prabha,
ReplyDeleteYeah patience is the key. I sometimes wish I can apply all this in my personal life too. I am pushed to being a professional when dealing with such things. But when outside of work, I just freak out on people without second thoughts. Yet another lesson I take back from work :o)
@Aarthy,
Right. That's one way of controlling oneself :O)
Tagged ? Me ? Do I know you ? ;o)
haha... Somu... u dont know me.. Its ok nice way of getting to know. isnt it ?? ;0)
ReplyDeleteyes it did exist in my workplace. and the attrition rate is quite high...so vacancies shouldn't be a problem ;)
ReplyDelete