Tough Stuff

posted by Woodooz on Wednesday, June 15, 2005 20 comments
I have always felt that it is lot easier to appreciate someone at work. But when it comes to throwing a brickbat, it’s a different ball game altogether.

I should not be hurting the other guy’s feelings. I should put it in such a way that it would make him realize his shortcomings. I have to enthuse him to get going and work towards improvisation. I should not be pointing fingers or blaming him. I should make it look more like a pep talk than a complaining session. And I should lend a helping hand.

Every time I take someone into the conference room for a little chat, I have to keep all the above in mind. Since I cannot predict his reaction, I can never be prepared for such sessions too. Today was yet another day when I had to enlighten a colleague of mine on where he is falling short and why he should start putting in more effort.

Another day! Another colleague! Another session! And I only hope I don’t say things that end up making them feel sore.
Woodooz

20 comments:

  1. Ram C5:03 AM, June 15, 2005

    that's tough job.. to advise & straighten someone... I agree Somu.

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  2. Anjali7:45 AM, June 15, 2005

    Its a damn tough job.I agree coz U mus'nt hurt anyone in the bargain."Help ever hurt never"

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  3. @$#!$#9:30 AM, June 15, 2005

    Well actually its more a responsibility of the other guy to take up the good advice that u are giving him.

    If he can take it, well & good...otherwise...well..u know wat!

    Tough job..

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  4. Art12:19 PM, June 15, 2005

    Totally agree with u... I too faced this situation a few months back... Infact when i was a bit rude i used to feel bad... But then that was the first time... Now i somehow learnt to handle such situations... but still when we actually have to do it... Its difficult... Even though u r at the giving end.... U need to tell it positively... It makes a better impact...
    Positivity really helps... Tried and tested ;)

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  5. ioiio1:11 PM, June 15, 2005

    True.. I wish my boss learns that part of it soon..

    Thou she is really nice.. I always feel she goes overboard at things that deserve that

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  6. ss1:53 PM, June 15, 2005

    Ohh that sounds like a real tactful job. How did YOU learn all that? From ur boss? And u sound like even if u are used to doing it, it's a new situation each time? My imagination says, how those guys might be cursing you while going out and some might be just so pissed off. Poor Somu. But thats only my wild imagination :-D I know they'd rather be thanking you at the end of the session. Dont worry ur sweet little head with all that.

    PS: Wow ur so sensitive, I'm ready to swoon for you LOL!! Kidding!

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  7. Tipsy Topsy3:11 PM, June 15, 2005

    The only times I have been in a conferene room with seniors was when I was giving feedback about them or when i was announcing my decision to quit ;)

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  8. Kaps4:59 PM, June 15, 2005

    very true....constructive criticism should not be viewed as a personal attack. Putting things across is an art by itself.

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  9. Woodooz6:43 PM, June 15, 2005

    @Ram,
    True it is. And am glad you acknowledge that.

    @Arch,
    Counselling is part of every team leader's / manager's work... Not in anyway associated with just HR. I am a Customer Support guy :o)

    @Anjali,
    That's the key... "Not hurt anyone" and yet put the message across. Welcome to my blog :o)

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  10. Woodooz6:47 PM, June 15, 2005

    @Ashish,
    Rightfully said, but we just cannot assume he would take that as a good advice. So it involves lota sugar coated words.

    @Art,
    My first few experiences were equally bad. But then I have learnt it over the last couple of years, though I would not say I have mastered it. Every session is a new learning experience. That's when I learn what I should have not said and what I could have possibly said.

    @Smyta,
    Reminds me of how my mom used to give me pills. She would hide it inside a banana and ask me to swallow it... That's my idea of sweetened pill :o) Taking him for a coffee at the cafeteria is a good idea too. A casual atmosphere helps the other person to open up too and eases things a bit for me.

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  11. Woodooz6:52 PM, June 15, 2005

    @Ioiio,
    First things first. Thanks for dropping by. Well people do not learn unless we point things out to them. That's why I take my boss most time with me for such sessions. He would be just a mute spectator and let me know his feedback of how I handled it later.

    @Sonal,
    Am still learning. And believe me there would be lot of curses. Since I have a good rapport with my team, I sometimes get inside information. Sometimes, I know even a month before somebody is gonna quit. But then, that's not the case always.

    Me ? Sensitive ? And how do u say that ? :o)

    @Tipsy
    Lol ! So, 360 deg feedback system exists wherever you work ? And as for quitting, I have never done that before in life. Maybe would try it out sometime. What say ? Any openings at your place ?

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  12. Woodooz6:59 PM, June 15, 2005

    @Ganga,
    :o) Infact, I felt so strong about it that I thought I should make a post.

    @Kaps,
    Right. It's like what men to when they have a shave everyday. First apply the gel. And then apply the razor. What say ? First bring out the positives and then point out. That way they would understand and not feel offended.

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  13. Art7:06 PM, June 15, 2005

    hmm thats really nice... but sometimes even though u r trying to help a person out u get outrageous reply...

    Like once in such a conversation with one of my collegues[his carelessness was causing a lot of trouble in my deadlines]...
    I just asked in a very very casual way... if he had any problems at work where he might need my help... and the reply i got was -- "what difference does it make to u...Are u gonna help me out" and in a very rude way... I was dumbstruck ... words dint come out...so i told him... Anyway finally continued the conversation without anymore conflict and not expressing my anger...
    But then was more careful from the next time to keep my cool at such responses :)

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  14. @$#!$#7:25 PM, June 15, 2005

    i received the ambi...its quite good. Thanx!!!

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  15. Woodooz7:47 PM, June 15, 2005

    @Aarthy,
    Yeah. Weird and rude response are something that i have not learnt to handle yet. I just lose my cool and start speaking in the same lines.

    Maintaining my composure is what I need to conciously work on :o)

    Looks like you are an expert at it now :o)

    @Ashish,
    Thanks and you are most welcome dude :o)

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  16. Prabha7:54 PM, June 15, 2005

    nice to be sensitive towards others feelings..u need lotsa patience too.. :)

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  17. Art8:00 PM, June 15, 2005

    well not an expert... but now i know i can atleast control my temper on such things.... best thing to do at such times would be just keep calm for a min... give a smile to urself and carry on......

    And now fun part... u've been tagged :) check out my blog :)

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  18. Woodooz8:09 PM, June 15, 2005

    @Prabha,
    Yeah patience is the key. I sometimes wish I can apply all this in my personal life too. I am pushed to being a professional when dealing with such things. But when outside of work, I just freak out on people without second thoughts. Yet another lesson I take back from work :o)

    @Aarthy,
    Right. That's one way of controlling oneself :O)

    Tagged ? Me ? Do I know you ? ;o)

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  19. Art9:47 AM, June 16, 2005

    haha... Somu... u dont know me.. Its ok nice way of getting to know. isnt it ?? ;0)

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  20. Tipsy Topsy3:31 PM, June 16, 2005

    yes it did exist in my workplace. and the attrition rate is quite high...so vacancies shouldn't be a problem ;)

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